Things I could do if I get fat

I remember back in high school, my girlfriend then would ask me if she was fat or not. This was one of the toughest questions I ever tackled, let alone considered, and I prayed to high heavens for guidance in answering such an impossible question. My predicament was, I were to answer “No, you’re not fat.” She would then think that I’m just pulling her leg or she has become very thin. Which she didn’t want. My own form is perfect reminder not to loose that much weight. She would then become depressed or sad which would then be a big problem for me for I will get the ugly end of it.

I answered the opposite, which is not true of course, for she was not fat, she was just in the right shape. This would never work because she would think that I think that she IS fat and the whole picture gets uglier again. To put it into perspective for her not to be bothered at all, I would point to one of our classmates who were definitely fat and say, “She IS fat. Now look at you, are you both the same? No. So you’re not fat, but you’re not thin either. You’re just in the middle.” At some days this analogy works, some days it doesn’t. I do not blame her for being so conscious about her figure for it is natural for young women of her age.

In the times I’m not with her and memories of those situations come back to me, I add some twists to it as I replay the scenarios in my mind. The twist is that I am the one who gets fat or gain some weight for those who get stung by that “f-word”. (If you look at my photos, you’ll definitely wish it will be so.) Imagine that…imagine the things I would and could do with some extra weight around.

I could now lift heavier things all by my self like those wooden and heavy couches, my fellow stage actors and actresses whenever the director wants me to, push huge and heavy cabinets around the house and save myself from being the target of thin jokes. I’d have no trouble getting qualified to donate blood to the needy because I’d be never dismissed as being underweight.

My mom would no longer pester me to take those vitamin pills and to stop staying up late at night. Friends and strangers would no longer assume that I’m frail and sickly. There are more possibilities, some are good and some are not good.

Of course, I never dream of being overweight, too fat, too heavy or simply put, being obese. It’s not good, it’s not healthy and it’s a life-risk not to mention a possible babe-turn-off. Some things in life are just so hard to get. Again, readers who are challenged at the waistline would agree with me. Then again, there’s liposuction in Los Angeles and it’s not as bad as you think.

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