The Four-eyed Journal

Something to break the serious mood this blog has been into lately. A video of Jeff Dunham, a master ventriloquist and one of his puppets, Achmed the Dead Terrorist. Enjoy!

People, persons and places made fun of in this act:

• Lindsay Lohan
• Clay Aiken
• Jews
• Catholic Priests
• Michael Jackson
• The Washington Monument
• Bill Clinton
• George W. Bush
• The audience

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The last time I played Warcraft was last week. The last time I saw, rather, watched Mr T was a few minutes ago when a friend of mine e-mailed me a link to a YouTube video about the two.

Yes, you read it right, Mr T and Wacraft. Fans and avid gamers would get a good laugh out of this one. Remember this line:

“Well, maybe Mr. T hacked the game and created a Mohawk class. Maybe Mr. T is pretty handy with computers. Had that occurred to you Mr. Condescending Director?”

And now for the video:

If Mr T can hack Warcraft, I wonder what Chuck Norris would do if he gets his hands on Halo 4 or Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare?

That would be the day!

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I’m not sure whether the Philippines is still the texting or SMS capital of the world, but I have doubts that another country has been given that title. All thanks to our mobile phones and the short-messaging system or SMS or texting as we refer to it here in the Philippines.

Just like music and fashion, texting or sending SMS has gone through various ‘trends’ over the past years. I recall back in my highschool days, the first time I owned a mobile phone, that thanks to SMS, ‘green’ or naughty jokes became the first staple of the SMS airwaves. Every hour or so, a friend or someone in my phone book would forward to me one of those naughty jokes. Some are plain naughty yet still funny (pardon my twisted sense of humor), but some were downright so naughty, it’s no longer a joke, but pornography. You’d be amazed that a few dozen dots, parentheses and backslashes could be arranged in a certain way so as to achieve a 3-second porn flick right in your palms.

3 girls make paalam to dad.

Girl 1: Dad, i’m going out with Pete to EAT.

Girl 2: I’m going out with Lance to DANCE.

Girl 3: I’m going out with CHUCK to …

Dad: Ah, hinde! Dito ka lang sa bahay!!!
Shet (>_<)

Thankfully, the Filipino texting community matured and moved on from sending those green jokes. Unfortunately, from being naughty and aroused by some fancy arrangement of backslashes and periods, it seems that everyone else that has a cellphone back then suddenly became either love struck or broken hearted, as the green jokes were replaced by, dare I say it, “love quotes.”

Love is when you sit beside someone…

doing nothing..

yet…

you still feel perfectly happpy…c:

Subjects varied from the search for true love, the longing for it, or the universal definition of it. Of course sending these ‘love quotes’ were most useful for those who were in search for romance or that significant other who would be the one forever, those who had a crush on somebody but couldn’t tell it their face and so the SMS world gave them safe refuge. At first this new trend was alright and peachy, heck even I had a wonderful collection of love quotes that would pinch the heart of anyone even the Ice Queen.

Nonetheless, it all went into excess and eventually, those love quotes became so full of love, sad love in fact, it become emo. Yep. Emo quotes. Scary I know.

“…the hardest part in being loved by someone is the uncertainty that it may stop

…anytime.”

Thank all things good as the texting community finally matured once more and moved on from there. Though there are still some emo texters but they’re not in the mainstream nowadays. At first, this new period saw the return of text jokes, the clean ones to be exact. The maturity of this period is quite impressive as the jokes soon became political jokes. The staple of which, are the jokes about former President, now ex-convict Joseph “Erap” Estrada. However, these jokes about Erap or Eraptions as they were labeled, were already popular before the advent of the texting or SMS craze. So this renewed interest in Erap jokes I’d like to call “Eraptions 2.0″ Thank God Bush wasn’t the real President of the Philippines otherwise we Filipinos could write whole new volumes of “Bushisms.”

Q: Biglang kumidlat, ano gagawin mo?

Genuis: Takip tenga, kukulog eh!

Playboy: Yakap syota, score e!

Astig: La lang, matapang ako e!

Erap: Ngingiti,

Picture taking eh!

Eraptions 2.0 soon died down and eventually replaced by an even bigger phenomenon that owed its rise to such levels to the cellphone, let’s hear it one more time: “Hello, Garci?”

The Mafia in Malacañang succeeded in keeping its skin and the issue soon toned down. Nonetheless, it was replaced by jokes related to GMA, her evil deeds, her being a midget, her teeth and who could forget, her mole.

“Tandaan mo anak, ang batang sinungaling ay di na tatangkad, uusli ang ngipin, liliit ang binti at tutubuan ng nunal sa mukha.”

-Diosdado Macapagal

Since the evil midget is still in Malacañang, this new level of the texting community’s maturity was eventually channeled to other issues of the time. Of course, since it is Filipino-made, humor, if not biting sarcasm, is an essential element to this new breed of text messages.

The following specimen below, I belive will sum it all:

Sa resto:

Waiter: Ano po order nila, maam?

Amo: Ung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw inday, ano sayo?

Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.

Amo: Iho, adobo w/ rice daw.

Quite amazing the evolution of SMS communication here in the Philippines is. All thanks to the cell phone another remarkable fact has has been realized, SMS or texting has become part of the fabric of daily living faster than using the internet and say blogging as almost everyone from every age group owns a mobile phone.

I wonder what would be the next trend in the SMS culture in this country. With the roll-out and slow introduction of 3G and HSDPA technologies, the possibilities would be endless.

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It’s Friday and what better way to end the work week with a healthy dose of link love from the Four-eyed Journal.

Here’s what’s been buzzing in the Four-eyed Blogroll:

Blogging Tips by ProBlogger in the latest installment of his ‘What we wish I knew when I first started Blogging’ Series. How to Write Excellent Blog Content. He once again emphasizes on creating list-based blog posts that are among the most viral of blog posts.

Which reminds me; I really need to work on creating good lists. Most of my posts are like op-ed columns!

Reluctance to DNA testing is taken on by Eye on DNA. She weighs in on the Perceptions of Genetic Testing and presents in a logical and calmed stance her take on some of the negative reasons people shy away from genetic testing.

Tests are not that bad. They help individuals and families prepare for what’s to come. Even if they become paranoid or emotionally disturbed by the test results, it’s enough reason to have disdain of them, counseling is what they need instead. There may be no cure today, but the knowledge gathered from tests all add up to the resources future scientists could work on to create cures or remedies.

We may not have benefited today, but our sons and daughters will.

Speaking of paranoias, Noemi was asked by her daughter “Are you paranoid, mom?” because of the presence of fire extinguishers in every room of their house. She does justify why those safety equipments are there, and I agree with Ade that one can never be too careful.

However, most Filipino families could ill-afford fire extinguishers or smoke-detectors at home. They’d rather spend it for food, tuition and other necessities.

I don’t mean to sound rude or negative, but it’s just the way things are in this country.

The poor worry about living through the next day while the well-off worry about kicking the bucket too soon.

Freebies! Yes, free full text books to be exact as Jam blogs about Fullbooks.com a site where we can download full books in html format for saving and printing. I wonder if the texts we use in classes this semester are included in their catalog. Still, nothing beats the price of something that is free.

Finally, something that will crack you up courtesy of Rob and The Blogosphere; The Wost Album Covers Ever Created. Just head on over to his blog and you’d almost fall off your chair laughing. Good one Rob!

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While I struggle to keep things cool in my room this hot humid day, there’s a note on my white-board about the ideas I decided to blog about.

The second item in the list proved to be the most relevant in today’s weather conditions so I decided to visit YouTube.com and searched for a video on global warming. I then found the video below:

Will Ferrel is one of my favorite Hollywood actors and I’m a fan of his work. He may not look a lot like Bush but he sure did accurately portrayed the dim-witted war monger and his views on global warming in this parody. This is an instant classic.

Oh goodie, here’s another one.

A note about the message at the end of the video, you may or may not jive with them, but I sure hope you enjoyed Will Ferrel. hahahaha

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